Buca Di Sant'Antonio, Circa 2008
Acrylic on canvas
Original photo by Galilea Nin.
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Portfolio
Image Description: An abstract self-portrait of Ani, shirtless, before gender-affirming surgery. They have breasts and their nipples are bright red. Their skin has a blue hue to it. They are looking sharply to their right.
Image Description: An abstract painting of Ani, shirtless, before gender-affirming top surgery. They have pointed breasts. Their arms are muscular and hover in the air. They do not have defined eyes, mouth or nose. The background has red tones. Their skin has blue brush strokes in it.
Image Description: A self-portrait of Ani, shirtless. Their lips and nipples are bright red. The colors of the background and their skin are dark gray, blue, and yellow.
Dysphoria, 2013
Dysphoria, 2013
Acrylic on canvas panels
While living in Mississippi, I came out as transgender. However, there was little support for LGBTQIA+ folks. I remember feeling repulsed by my owYn body, and didn't even have a name for what that meant. I painted self-portraits to explore these feelings in a more abstract style. The second figure appears to have an ape-like posture, embodying internalized transphobia. In addition, I made my lips and nipples bright red, symbolizing sensuality and femininity which elicited anger and rage in me. I recall feeling less human when reflecting on my newly discovered transness, while living with body parts that felt incongruent with my identity and personality.
Image Description: A beach at sunset. On the left is a rock cliff with large rocks on shore. Waves roll onto the sand. There is a yellow sunset in a deep, blue sky. There are white and gray clouds filling the sky.
Wishing Her Peace, 2011
Wishing Her Peace, 2011
Acrylic on canvas
Me and my sister Amber were only-siblings. We endured verbal and physical abuse together. I wanted to convey what peacefulness would feel like in hopes that my sister would feel it one day. I used a lot of blue, as it is Amber’s favorite color. And I wanted to capture the tide rolling over the sand, symbolizing emotions that rise and subside.
Image Description: On the left is green farmland. On the right is a blue house on cinder blocks, with boarded and barred windows. There are two black men sitting on the porch and an older, black couple sitting at the back of the house. A black toddler stands barefoot in diapers on a gravel road. Her left foot is in the shadow of the house while her right foot is in her own shadow.
Shadows in Mississippi, 2013
Shadows in Mississippi, 2013
Acrylic on canvas
After college, I moved to the Mississippi Delta with my ex-partner. We lived in the poorest towns in the U.S. heavily affected by systemic racism and a brutal legacy of slavery and sharecropping. In predominantly Black neighborhoods, many houses were on foundations of cinder blocks, often with boarded windows. I wanted to incorporate the concept of intergenerational trauma by centering the young girl. I also wanted to capture a relaxed, communal feel of front-porch living.
Image Description: A restaurant with two tables at a cornerbooth. To the left are framed pictures, reflecting the objects on the window sill: a yellow lamp and a plant. Above the tables are rafters with hanging pots and pans. The lighting creates a warm, yellow hue.
Buca Di Sant'Antonio, Circa 2008
Buca Di Sant'Antonio, Circa 2008
Acrylic on canvas
Growing up in an unpredictable home environment, I turned to art for comfort. My artistic style seems like a form of escapism through realism, capturing details of my surroundings, particularly comforting and beautiful ones. After searching for a photo to paint, I found the vibrant Ristorante Buca Di Sant’Antonio in one of my mom's travel magazines. With attention to detail infused with empathetic rendering of still-life, I wanted to capture the essence of the cozy corner-booth in the historical restaurant in Lucca, Italy. Original photo by Galilea Nin in Budget Travel, November 2008.
Original photo by Galilea Nin.
Image Description: A eurocentric drawing of Jesus. His hands are folded in prayer as he gazes downward. He has long, wavy hair and a beard. He is wearing robes.
Image Description: A eurocentric rendering of Simon Peter. He has choppy, light hair and a beard. His left hand is resting against his face as he looks to his right.
Image Description: A eurocentric rendering of Thomas. His eyebrows are raised in doubt. He has wavy, dark hair and a white tunic.
Image Description: A eurocentric drawing of James. His eyebrows are raised and he has a twinkle in his eye.
Image Description: A eurocentric rendering of Philip. He has short, light hair, curled upwards on the sides. His arms are casually crossed as he smiles.
Jesus and The Apostles, 1999-2000
Jesus and The Apostles, 1999-2000
Charcoal and graphite pencils on drawing paper
I was raised in a large, German Catholic family and attended parochial school at St. Mary Cathedral from kindergarten to 8th grade. As a neurodivergent kid, I was devout about rules and structure. I enjoyed church and religion class. Drawing was a way to hyper-fixate on subjects I cared about, so I naturally gravitated towards Catholic subjects. I drew angels and countless pictures of Jesus. I eventually took on the project of drawing the twelve apostles. My dad had a small book with their images and descriptions of them. I share Jesus and four apostles from the collection.
It is important to note that the Anglo-Saxon and Roman Catholic Church dispersed media of the subjects of our devotion—brown, Middle Eastern men—falsely depicting them as white, with light, Eurocentric features, as you can see in my renderings from my Dad’s book.
Image Description: A ballerina holding her slippers as she gazes downward to her left. There are shadows under her neck and on her skirt from where she holds her slippers. In the top left corner is Ani's signature: "Jenni Tenholder, 10."
Image Description: Above is the same rendering from 2002: a ballerina holding her slippers as she gazes downward to her left. The shadows, contrast and details are more pronounced. There is a shadow behind her. The layers and crinkles in her dress have shading. The bottom right corner has Ani's signature: "Jenni Tenholder, 13."
The Ballerina, 1999-2002
The Ballerina, 1999-2002
Charcoal and graphite on sketch paper
While looking through my portfolio, I noticed I used to draw the same subject multiple times. I drew this ballerina first in 1999 and again in 2002. As I am recovering from OCD, I now know behaviors such correcting, re-doing, starting and re-starting academic papers, letters, drawings, etc. until they feel "just right" are OCD compulsions. I did practice drawing a lot and wanted my work to be "perfect." You can see the progression of detail, contrast, shading, depth, and form three years later.
Image Description: Still life drawing of various blocks standing upright against a white background. The blocks appear to have texture from the bold graphite on heavyweight paper.
Blocks, 2012
Blocks, 2012
Charcoal on heavyweight paper
Image Description: Still life drawing of an oil lamp, an empty liquor bottle, bowling pin, and glass Coca Cola bottles on a chair.
Vintage Objects, 2012
Vintage Objects, 2012
Charcoal on newsprint
Choosing What to Share
Choosing What to Share
The artwork I’ve selected spans from 1999 to 2013, showcasing my creative growth from ages 10 to 23. You’ll find paintings, drawings, and printmaking, with earlier pieces signed under my birth name, "Jenni Tenholder."
My work covers a range of subjects—portraits, landscapes, still life, and religious themes—though my style leans toward realism, with a focus on detail. As an Autistic person with OCD, I often become fixated on capturing subjects "just right," especially in portraits.
Included are pieces from my Jesus and The Apostles series, a reflection of my Catholic upbringing and its influence on my OCD. Even at ages 10 and 11, I was able to express emotion through their eyes and faces.
Portraits have always been a way for me to show care by focusing on the smallest details—what my brain does naturally through hyperfixation. It feels intimate, like seeing someone fully.
After completing Shadows in Mississippi in 2013, I didn’t create again until 2021, when I began drawing portraits for friends and family during the pandemic. This led to the founding of Trueheart Creations.
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